Night time musings…

14 Jul

This deployment business still has not fully hit me yet.  He’s been gone almost a month and, much like my 4 year old, I keep getting up in the morning waiting for the “come get me” text that I know is not coming.  It’s not that I don’t miss my husband, I really do, I just haven’t really acknowledged that he’s gone for a long time.  It’s been a crazy year for that.

Despite the guilt I’m feeling over this, I suppose it is somewhat better to be in a subconscious state of denial than a blubbering I-can’t-function-without-my-man-at-home mess.  I know there is a middle ground in there somewhere but maybe where I am is the middle ground.  It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I’m denying the reality.  Our daughter just isn’t old enough to understand.

Either way… I’m establishing a routine for us and haven’t varied greatly.  I also need to get my butt back in the gym for mommy time.  Exercising is my zone out time and I need to get back to it 🙂

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